It is Either Horrible or I am Just Spoiled

I am stuck here in my seat reading through sites that I often find myself surfing through or just passing by on and all of a sudden, I’m about enter, open, access or even just click on an icon that interests me… then POOF! Out comes the menacing leaf green demonic billboard signifying all that is evil within the cyberworld: The “DansGuardian”.

With it’s 1x1 margins, integrated format and radiation spewing colors, it appears when you least expect it like an undercover cop barging into your bathroom and flashing his badge at you while your taking a seismic level 6 dump in your toilet. It is blasphemous I tell you, how is a liberal student with a zest for learning and virtue suppose to broaden his intellectual horizon with this abomination trampling over every promising step he takes in exploring this wonderful network of information called the internet?! For goodness sake, it is bad enough that 90% of the internet is practically worthless and is overloaded with fake facts, pornography, useless blog sites, shout outs, pointless rantings, pop ups to high heaven and worst of all, lecherous old farts hunting little kids for “playtime” and harassment. Even if the point of the holier-than-thou “DansGuardian” was to limit such things, its only clogging the only passages to the truthful information that are buried underneath all this crud and feces made by people who devolved into monkeys that only have a shadow of what used to be human. To think that one of the vision mission goals of the La Salle system is and I quote:”Pursue an environment of meaningful and ENGAGED LEARNING, RIGOROUS ACADEMIC PURSUITS, AND CREATIVE DISCOVERIES, that is in harmony with ONE’S BELIEF in a loving and caring God.”, doesn’t even come close to the idea that a “DansGuardian” is the ultimate filter for such atrocious setbacks. The school system for personal educational perseverance is coming more like advertorial for people to get lured by rather than the right thing which is by constitutional right, “the right to be informed.”, it comes off more as a fast food chain like Mcdonalds where they feed you high cholesterol and a lot of salt in exchange for the glorified idea of convenience for them more than for you. The service provided by the “DansGuardian” is more like a road block for truth rather than the intended purpose which is to protect the “virgin intellect” of future La Salle leaders. I say, screw all the “VIRGINS” and let them figure things out on their own. Give them the freedom to explore what they can and pave the road for truth rather than restrain them. I guarantee they will learn more things faster than tracing their development for the ideal goal established by the system. DOWN WITH THE “DANSGUARDIAN”!!!

The new spelling of strength is "w-o-m-e-n"

Smaller and smaller circles wasnt as appealing as i thought i would get inclined to. simply put, bluntly rather, its far too feminist if you ask me. the whole book made me realize how much certainty the author is inputting that women in genenral are insecure and that they need assurance, honestly, women aren't as weak as they would think in fact, they are alot stronger than what they appear to be. Take for instance the idea of maturity, the older they get as compared to guys, they mature faster than we do meaning they get wiser than we do as guys. Next, they are alot stronger at heart than what most people would think in comparison seriously. my expectations of women far exceed than those who would "know" them to be.

Its amazing how they can withstand self-righteous egoists who think they know so much. Its marvelous that they can outweigh what they can expext themselves to be if they set the bar to themselves. Its a wonder, that they can put their suffering aside in order to achieve what they want to attain. For guys its different. We rely on efficiency and convenience. Thats why we plan things accordingly and devote our attention to personal endeavors. Its a question of how important certain situations are to us and we balance what would convene us into making things alot better for us even if the price was to be selfish (but there are some who aren't as well.). I hold a high regard for women and on rare occasions, admire their inner strength even though they don't notice. They produce a surmountable amount of potential as compared to us men and an infinite amount of instigatorical surplus of hope for people to reconsider in times of desperation. It is through these unlikely ideologies that convince me that in terms of heart, we are inferior and essentially the most prominent factor that would be the root and corner stone on any foundation of anyone who would be great.

I'd never want to be Bruce Willis's character in "The kid"

to be honest, this kind of topic about parents passing on their traits to their kids is something i dont quite like to talk about... honestly its really touchy to me since... alot of qualities i acquired and wouldnt dream of acquiring are very double-edged and its something i prefer not to talk about. the only reason why im saying these things is simply because its for the blog. So pardon my condoning statements because its really not my kind of thing to talk about. the only thing that i can say about generations is that the idea of passing traits to a younger genenration is something really risky to be honest. And not the healthy kind in my opinion. In fact, i can actually admit that passing on my genes isn't something i would like to say i look forward to but rather hopefully stray away from if possible. even if the inevitable were to come..the fear would never leave me but not disgust me but more on fear itself. its a scary thought that you can encounter someone who is unpredictable as well and if that person would really have most of my traits if ever on a decent percentage..i'd forever be guarded from my offspring.

Generations was freaky in my opinion. the thought of the killing was really disturbing to a certain extent but the context for me was unique and very surreal in my point of view.

in all fairness, i believe that having kids, lets just say, is not the no.1 thing on my list and if i had the choice i wish i'd never hve kids because of all the thoughts i get just thinking about it... but then again, if my future wife would be happy, i'll comply with the notion nonetheless... with severe effort of convincing from myself to myself.

The root word of routine is route

The dictionary meaning of route is: "a specific itinerary, round, or number of stops regularly visited by a person in the performance of his or her work or duty." emphasis on the word 'specific'. In the context of the word "routine", the word is a noun and it is used often to define the pattern or behavior of people. Alot of us here establish a routine to order our chaotic lives like wake up, brush teeth, eat, shower then leave for our daily duty then come home, relax, kick back, do something productive then sleep right after...repeat context. I find it amazing that we can easily be satisfied with our established order of appointed options during our regular days. What i find more remarkable is the idea that for some people, a small disrupt in the rift of their behavior can rip them figuratively inside out.

the tale of the Spinster and Peter Pandesal is about a girl who has a habit of making a desired routine for herself and the highlight of her day is being able to go to her favorite bar and enjoying the piano pieces being played everytime she visits. Until one day, her so-called habit was interrupted by a band that took over the piano being played in her favorite place and worst of all, played rock music, the most undesired type of music she disliked very much. as each day went by, she grew more and more interested of the vocalist who danced around and about and sang wildly and envisioned fantasies of her so-called "Peter Pan" until one day he sat down and noticed her and that was the end of her little adventure and left. :)

Document is a story about a guy who kept lending his laptop to the girl he often fantasizes about and keeps thinking he has a connection with her and dreams of being with too.

To be honest im not a person of routine sincerely. but i can honestly say that i had a way of doing about on things and i guess i can call it a routine. As much as possible, i always want my day to be luminous and incandescent like a bulb. If life is supposed to be fun and enjoyable ideally, then i want my life to be as brilliant and as bright as possible and to shed light especially in the dark areas of my world. After all, even the word route used as a verb means: "to fix the route of". I believe alternatives to our routines makes life alot more worth living for.

Here's a shard of my mirror... Hope it helps.

Ever since i can remember, i've always been, as they say, "Questing for love." in a manner of speaking. The whole idea of Hopeless(ly) Romantic would very well define my human existence...before. I've always been a student of Love so to speak and i've never believed in waiting around for it to come, simply because i couldn't wait for it because i needed it in my life more than anything. While some people dream of being rich or being famous, thinking thoughts about the future, clothes, bags, accesories, travelling, cars, gadgets, money, big toys in a nutshell, i've always been fascinated by the idea of being "in-love". I used to get jealous of people who had partners...i'd observe and wonder from a distance how they'd laugh, smile and enjoy mostly each other's company, how they'd happily enjoy each other's moments with each other. It was a different feeling i got from seeing people who were weren't like them, young couples, middle-aged couples, old couples, weird couples, going-to-be couples, queer couples, confused couples, couples gone-wrong, i've seen them all and they all had the same outlook on life. Their eyes are different when you talk to some of them. they'd mention how much they fight and quarrel and mention the irritating habits and some of the most dastardly things some of them would do to each other. As evil as it sounded and as much as they strongly stood by the idea that it was not worth it, i got even more curious. people don't seem to see the little details these people emit when you listen to them talk. They'd say all these really good things, and all these really bad things that occur in their relationship with their partner, but noone observes that change they undergo in the process of them talking about it. It's beautiful i tell you. Such a marvel that i cannot believe noone sees what i see. they animate so much love for themselves that they don't see themselves forming new habits, new ideas, new ways of expressing themselves, new actions. its very different from people who go through new experiences with travelling to other areas, or meeting new people, learning new skills and even not doing anything. You can see it in anybody whether you've known them for so long or just met them, you can always tell when you see someone who is "in-love". Whether the guy is an Asshole, or the girl is a bitch, their partner who stays with them emits an aura of growth, and if you listen to them, you can see these little wonders happening around them. You can feel their passion to be better people and literally sense the fire burning in their words even with the least subtlety. If only i could share this joy with others, empathy wouldn't be as hard as people imagine it to be.

Im just a funny little frog in your doorway

I have a confession. What most people usually think of me is the idea that i hate women. "i hate girls. they are vile despicable creatures that dont deserve even a single breath of air to live on in this world." haha... i find it very amusing that i actually convinced people of this notion. Its amazing how far my impressions can lead people to think of the total opposite of what i really believe in. To be perfectly honest, i love women in absolute honesty. i love their unpredictability, i love their emotional unstability, their passionate drive to become better as people, i love their ability to give hope to the hopeless and most of all, i love the way they can bring the best and worst out of you. "Women, you can't live with them, and you can't live without them." i've always studied how women behave and as long as i can remember, i've always had a fascination with women. From the first pornographic material i saw as a kid to the most intimate conversation i've ever had as an adult. i have reached a point that i am either very passionate about the existence of the feminine gender or rather obsessed with the female sexuality. but in all fairness, i was, i am and always will, be devoted to the study and understanding of the human counterpart of men...the complexed woman.

On the story of Soltice, it reminds us more than inform us that there is feminism around us. it is another reason to give us the idea that there are some people who are tired of being the fabled "Maria Clara". Nowadays, alot of people want to be Darna rather than the coined term of Ibarra's one true love. it could be perhaps, that the term has become to old and cannot keep up with the passing time or maybe the times are too hard and complicated for one to act as such but nevertheless the character of M.C. has been put to the side of the mainstream of character role idealism. Personally as a guy, i have a tendency to be attracted to the unwanted. the scorned, the tossed, the casted-away, the forsaken and the exiled... name it. the people who feel this way have always struck my interest in getting to know them. i feel it to be more enriching to learn more from them rather than the already successful. a sense of reality in this aspect is what makes me give them so much of my respect to honor the passing of their suffering that makes me admire their courage to overcome such painful obstacles.

In Bread of salt, this story defines the idea of romance. A fit husky man expressing his love for his beloved and both fall in the blanket of a loving atmosphere thats makes them feel that all is right in the world. it basically shows how people pursue love in the past. although only a silhouette is visible in present day, it still exists with only some sadly. Guys in the beginning are very chivalrous, idealistic and romantic especially. i have nothing against this just to be clear in fact, i have to admit i was once as well before and even until now, i still have pieces of that characteristic in my personality. but when something ruins this vision they create for themselves...it ruins them and they become very bitter, rebellious and in rare cases, monsters as well. in the beginning, they're monogomous and loyal, then when they're hope is broken by the one they promise themselves to, they revert into rebels to block out the pain that they didnt mean to make for themselves. they become arrogant and full of pride all because they were hurt by their own understanding of love and blame the one they cherished as the source of their suffering. the heart is incredibly resistant. But when it is broken, it should always be treated with the utmost care. In the healing process, what determines the direction of the person's heart is how well it heals in the hands of people that person chooses to show it and share it with. So it must be gently handled with care in treating it.



Let the woman be a woman. In the end, no matter how much power they can get they will always need us men just as much as we need them too. The the most wonderful thing about them is the potential of seeing them far surpass anyone as people since it is within their capability to do so. The scariest thing about them is their incapacity to control the amount of power they have possessed because of their emotional instability. And thats where we come in to support them. "She's always a woman to me."

Woman. A force to be reckoned with over a hundred fold.

Women... how i love women. They are such fascinating creatures: indecisive, fickle, finicky, walking bundles of contradiction, a bundle of nerve sets, paranoia, ball and chain, addictive, substantial, essential, scatterbrained, confused, workaholic, afraid of insects, loves to dance, loves to sing, loves to make men squirm, sexy, elegant, delicate, omissive, sly, foxy, conniving, manipulative, sensitive, wrathful, computative, puzzle, cursed, strong, setimental, endearng...infinite words to define them but can be summed up under one word...

...Beautiful.

The Corral is about a girl’s contemplation on the idea that her life’s connection with Mr. Perfecto in fear of being labeled as old maid despite being really irritated with him. Despite not being able to stand him, her choice was made when she decided to marry him regardless of the situation that needed to be pondered on. This gives us the idea on the horizon on the choices we make that features a side of thinking that paves ground on decision making for most people.

Love in the corn husks is a loving depiction of romance once forgotten and relived. The story revolved around tinang a simple house wife that used to work for a family. As she returns to invite her mistress for favor, she was surprised by a letter longed to be read by her containing the passion and admiration by along lost love named amado. As she takes a walk into halls of her memories with the man, it saddened her of what could have been and in the end she is left to live a life that she had already started with another love.

I find it weird that women work so hard to aim for equality with men in an era where anyone has the freedom to be whatever they want to be. There are some who want to be equal in terms of ability and capability, there are those who want to be second to men by being like their sidekick despite the appalling idea to a select few who don't believe in it and there are others who believe that its time for them to shine, to take over and dominate the world just as the men did in the past. Honestly in my opinion, there is no point in being in whatever position in the gender role context simply because there will always be someone better and someone weaker than you and it doesnt matter if they are man or woman. But what is important is the LOVE and RESPECT that we as individuals need to supply our fellow people because of the lack that is essential in our society. We all have roles, but we'll never reach those goals if we can't even learn to fix ourselves in the beginning...we are left desolated in the end. This was something my girlfriend reminded me through her actions...her small and simple actions gave smiles to people around her and it rippled across one human being to another. I nearly forgot such an important life lesson... One act of random kindness could change the world.

Divide the mats by two

This story by Arcellana is about the tragic loss of a father's three daughters. In the beginning, the story itself is not revealed wholly however, little by little it unfolds. It would talk about the simple joys and happy moments that the family would have together and coined the term pasalubong as the father always returns home with something to give his loved ones. It gives us a glimpse of what we could empathize with as the story rolls on actually, but what saddened me was the moment the mats were being used in the story. it was a very sad moment when i was reading the story as sentiments were poured more and more into it. then by the end of the story, regrets were blooming one after another as the completion of the whole story began to emerge from it and showcasing the term of "sayang".

Needless to say, its true that people like to keep living on as if nothing has changed. Its a creepy thing if you ask me actually, but it can't be helped since it is better that way than seeing people talking more about someone who has moved on. To me, i've always believed in death as important part of our lives like how would we be when we died? Will our heart move on in others? will we be remembered by the people who really knew us? will we influence a change in the world we lived in? all these things have always been in my head since as far as i can remember. nevertheless, legacies are formed when we die and it is those memories that make a change in the world that needs to keep changing.



The next story, "divide by two" is about a feud over land. we can see throughout the story the stress and degenerating relationship between the characters as the story goes on. It's main plot revolves around the problem over the few inches of lot that sparked the wick in the relationship of the characters. In a way, simple as it maybe, it's very remarkable to see that a spotlight can bring about so much life into a small section of life that many people fail to notice but happens everyday in the world.

In the movie anger management, Jack Nicholson's character explains that there are two kinds of angry people, explosive and implosive. Explosive is the guy screaming at the cashier to get his change so that he can go on his merry way, implosive is the guy who weighs bags they in and day out and counts the money in the cashier then slowly brings out the shotgun hidden in the counter and decides to shoot everyone in the store and calmly leaves the place. There are times that we really can't take things anymore especially when we bury alot of angst towards alot of things like work, people, and even simple things like the car, the house and even bills that need paying. but if there is one thing that i learned in my life is that it is better to feel sad than angry even if the latter feels better. but to cause harm to others is in no way healthy in anyway. maturity demands of this as we are constantly surrounded by kids of different ages. even people in their 20's can be considered kids. in cases like this, it good to be prepared by tempering our anger with wisdom. that is the harder challenge.

Taking a dive into Filipino Lit

It's amazing how we have so much influence from western cultures that even our own perspectives as filipinos have become such. It is amazing that even some of us are becoming impoverished by our own filipino heritage and even, on rare occasions, our integrity through the influences of western culture that we sometimes forget that we are of this country. The books that we read make us who we are and tells us a little of how we perceive our own beliefs...through a looking glass so to speak. The intent of changing who we are is dependent on the things that we feed our minds and supposedly adds quality to what makes us frankly us. To my dismay, i feel that we fall short on some ends sometimes when it comes to wondering if we are really filipino since the rise of neo-colonialism that made us dependent on other cultures especially american culture. This is reflected with the things that we wear, eat, speak, and even listen and read in our daily lives.
i myself admit that i fall prey to liking other things more than my own local surroundings and even sometimes ashamed that the notion of being proud of being a filipino is hypocritical as my stand point does not appear as one who is proud of being one. But it is a breath of fresh air to peer into the waters of filipino literature and to dive into the writings of luminous aspects of many underestimated and hidden talents that radiates the brilliance that our culture has to offer.

My Father Goes to Court is a story about two families that live two different lives. One family is financially stable but unhappy and the other is not so financially well-off but lives happilly treating it as their wealth. Later on they are accused of stealing wealth and happiness from the other as they feel weakened from the idea that the happy family seems more well-off than the financially stable one. In this story, the author Bulosan shows us a window into the characteristics that makes us filipino: simple, light-hearted and family-oriented. The idea of being hospitable showcases that we welcome others as we spread joy and happiness through generousity and well-being of others. It exposes the idea that we as filipinos have a trait of being able to brighten a dark situation and that we help by shedding light to other people as well by accepting others into our groups to make one happy one too.

“How my Brother Leon Brought Home a Wife” is a story about Baldo, a young provincial boy driving his brother and his wife home. A simple witty narrative that takes to account the qualities of our culture. Arguilla’s depiction on our society journeys us to a trip to the countryside that opens little windows in our culture. it showcases our family oriented nature as well as its uncommon want to change. It has become a trademark in our culture that our elders are traditional and that family is our priority at all times and that change is a somewhat integral habit that is minded at a very subtle rate.

Filipino values...hmm...to be honest, my life is a constant struggle between being a traditional filipino and a radical one. In a way it is a serene chaotic beauty of which its complexities constantly crash into one another and everyday i find new things(beliefs, perspectives etc...) that i regularly need to ponder on in order to maintain the balance in my momentum based way of living. You see, my father's side is a very traditional filipino family and change is like a mountain that they'd rather look upon and wonder at rather than explore and conquer and my mother's side is a revolution of constant wild continuities...basically they're total opposites. With me, it's impossible to be on one side because it's like the balance that justice or libra hold in her hand, if one side becomes to heavy, the whole thing collapses. When it comes to filipino values, its very difficult for me to know what are all the filipino values that need to be minded, so instead i try to make the most of what i know how..it's hard for me to see the shades of what true filipino values are except to be respectful, kind, and generous to others...the family-orientation is still quite a mystery to me because its very vague for me to know where my loyalties lie...since my parents are separated and i inherited most of my mother's characteristics but i've been living with my father most of my life.

I'd definitely agree that filipinos are christian truly and even sometimes too christian like there is no more room for any other idea despite what some would say really. Even though i can say that there are alot who insist on the idea that christianity is the leading pillar to our being hospitable, i would still believe that the standpoint on being christian isn't the reason for why we are that way. It's kinda sad though to know that the religion is being used as a mental crutch but who am i to judge people on what they believe in. To me, i still stand by the idea that being too christian isn't really a bad thing..i mean, if it makes them happy then that satisfies my perspective about them.

As Filipinos, there is no doubt in my mind that we are very hospitable. I remember this one time i went to a friend's birthday party. He 's usually the type who keeps to himself, doesn't really befriend the whole world type of person, but surprisingly, i will never forget the small act of kindness he did that day. there were these foreigners that i knew who were planning to greet a friend at the party, when they arrived they were greeted by the celebrant with open arms and offered food drinks and many other sorts of comfort. i guess it just goes to show that we can never turn away from our being filipino.